Healthy Cove

5 Ways to Feel More Self-Love

Self-Love: heart

Let’s face it—feeling self-love is much easier said than done. Especially when we live in a society obsessed with Snapchat-filter perfection. We constantly see others obtaining status, owning the latest and greatest technologies, going on dream vacations, and living in a big house on a hill with the perfect family.

It’s no wonder we often feel like we don’t measure up.

Even worse, we begin to tell ourselves lies. We start to think that we’re weird, poor, ugly, awkward, not smart enough, or even too smart. In short, we feel like we’re never enough.

But what if we’re wrong?

What if you were good enough, just the way you are? In this very moment?

When it comes to love, it’s often easier to give it to others. But showing yourself love is just as important, maybe even more so. Here are five ways you can start showing yourself some much-needed love today.

1–Make a List of Your Positive Attributes

How often do we take the time to praise ourselves? If the answer is “rarely” or “I don’t even know what self-praise is,” let’s fix that, pronto. Try writing out a list of your positive attributes and take time to reflect on it every day.

When putting together your list, instead of being super generic in your attributes, try to be specific and have a little fun with this. (And then get really wild and add one or two new attributes to the list every week.)

For example: “I always give genuine compliments to others.” Or: “I’m non-judgmental and I always try to see things from another person’s point of view.” Or: “I have a nice singing voice and my husband/wife/next-door neighbor/puppy (woof!) loves it when I sing loudly when doing the dishes.”

Self-Love: Gratitude

Another tip? Along with the positive attributes list, try making a list of the things you are grateful for. Showing gratitude can go a long way into helping you out of self-defeating and negative thinking patterns.

2–Take Time for Yourself

Maybe you’re a super busy mom with adorable but rambunctious children. Or maybe you’re a hard-working sales rep putting in 60 hours+ of work each week. Your time can start to feel like it doesn’t belong to you anymore, and far too often you may feel like stretched taffy pulled too thin.

But how can you fully give to your children or to your job if you haven’t given anything to yourself?

This may mean taking extra time for yourself to meditate. It could mean curling up with a good murder mystery for a half hour before bed or indulging in the latest episode of your favorite guilty pleasure (if you love The Bachelor, I’m right there with you). It could mean making it to your daily CrossFit class or going to a weekly yoga class. It could even mean making a delicious snack for yourself and not sharing it with your kids!

Self-Love: Reading

The bottom line: fill your own cup first before you share with others. And don’t feel guilty about it. Just do it.

3–No More Negative Self-Talk

Another way to show love for yourself is to quit with the negative self-talk.

Seriously, stop. When you call yourself a name or criticize yourself, you are shrinking yourself from a human being of value down to a single element of yourself that you don’t like.

This can be a hard habit to quell, but it’s one that can have truly astonishing results. Think about it. You wouldn’t tell a 5-year-old that their crayon drawings look terrible. You wouldn’t tell your bestie that they’re hopeless for not knowing how to do their taxes online. And you certainly wouldn’t tell your loveable Grandma that she’s a basket case every time she smears pink lipstick on her teeth. (At least let’s hope you’d never do this.)

Yet how often do we berate ourselves and think negative thoughts like “I’m so stupid” or “I never get anything right”?

Instead of thinking of yourself as a total dumb-bat, rephrase the way you think about things. Try this instead: “Okay, so I don’t know how to relight the pilot light on my furnace. But there are YouTube videos that can probably teach me how to do this.”

4–Don’t Compare Apples to Oranges

Everybody is different. You don’t look the same, act the same, speak the same, or have exactly the same mind and heart and experiences as anybody else. You are a unique individual. Embrace it.

Self-Love: Apples and oranges

This is one I can certainly work on. For instance, I know that I’m kinda weird. I have a bizarre and irrational fear of birds (I’d never survive at Hogwarts with all the owls), I secretly cling to the hope that aliens and mermaids are real, and I’m addicted to reading young adult fiction that teenage girls obsess over, even though I’m a 32-year-old man. It’s like I’m becoming a crazy cat lady, but with books instead of cats. But I’m slowly learning that it’s okay to embrace your quirks. It’s okay to be different. Be weirdly you and own it and love it. And remember that no one is perfect, and perfect is boring anyway. Be flaw-some instead.

To make my point, let’s look at fruit. Say you are an orange. You are tangy-sweet, smell like a citrus-flavored candle, and are round with a thick skin. As an orange, why would you compare yourself to an apple? Or if you’re a strawberry, why look at a kiwi and think you’re somehow less? Every fruit has a little something to bring to the fruit salad. Likewise, we all have something unique to bring to the table.

5–Leave the Past in the Past

If we’re being real, life isn’t always hunky-dory and chances are you might have some old emotional wounds or negative memories lingering on the surface in the present moment. If you find yourself dwelling on an old memory you’re not too fond of, catch yourself and say, “I’m not that person anymore.” Because truthfully, you aren’t. You don’t have to be defined by mistakes or incidents from the past.

Another thought—try accepting where you are right now, in the moment. Sometimes we give ourselves a hard time simply because we are feeling emotional. We feel like we need to be stronger. But it’s okay if you might be feeling a little down about something. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling down or emotional, give yourself permission to feel the feels for a bit. And then let it go and move on to greener pastures.

Allow Self-Love into Your Life

Self-Love: Love yourself

Self-love isn’t something you arrive at overnight. But by taking small, daily steps, you can begin to truly appreciate your uniqueness. You absolutely can love yourself just the way you are (and I sincerely hope you will).

After all, you’re pretty flaw-some.

Healthy Cove

Make Over Your Mood

moods

 

Maintaining a positive mood and attitude can be very challenging at times. Life can get pretty stressful, especially when trying to multitask. Chances are you are familiar with managing several tasks at once. In today’s fast-paced environment, we often experience negative moods such as stress, discouragement, and fatigue. Just as being in a good mood gives you a sense of happiness and well-being, bad moods can also lead to negative feelings over time. When it comes to managing your mood, essential oils can help restore your emotional balance and improve your overall attitude in any situation.

Calm and Balance: Chill Out, It Will Be OK

WORRIED

  • Cedarwood: Diffuse after a stressful day to relax the mind and body.
  • Geranium: Diffuse aromatically to calm nerves.
  • doTERRA Serenity® Calming Blend: Diffuse to help promote relaxation and peace.

ANGRY

  • Arborvitae: Diffuse at night or rub on forehead, shoulders, or chest to lessen stress and tension.
  • Patchouli: Rub on temples or apply to the bottoms of feet to calm emotions.
  • Ylang Ylang: Put a few drops into Epsom salt bath for relaxation.

STRESSED

  • AromaTouch® Massage Blend: Add to bath or use with carrier oil for massage.
  • Frankincense: Apply to the bottoms of feet to relax and balance mood swings.
  • Roman Chamomile: Add 1–2 drops to herbal teas to soothe the body and mind.
  • Vetiver: Diffuse aromatically or use topically with other calming essential oils, such as Lavender, Serenity, or Balance, to better help calm stress.

RESTLESS/LACK OF CONCENTRATION

  • Rosemary: Diffuse aromatically or apply topically to help reduce tension, stress, and fatigue.
  • Lavender: Add to bath water to soak away stress.
  • doTERRA Balance® Grounding Blend: Apply to wrists or neck to help calm nerves.
  • InTune® Focus Blend: Apply to temples and back of neck to enhance concentration when feeling tired mid-afternoon.

NERVOUS

  • Clary Sage: Apply to feet or pulse points to balance hormones.
  • Bergamot: Diffuse in the classroom or at work
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Elevate and Energize: Lighten Up

TIRED/UNMOTIVATED

  • Grapefruit/Lemon/Lime: Rub underneath your nose to sharpen focus while studying or reading.
  • Citrus Bliss®: Diffuse aromatically or put one drop on your wrists and rub them together for an uplifting everyday perfume.
  • Peppermint: Apply to the palms of hands and deeply inhale for a quick pick-me-up.
  • Wild Orange: Energize the mind and body by placing two drops each of Wild Orange, Peppermint, and Frankincense in the palm of your hand. Rub palms together and inhale deeply. during high stress levels.

SAD/DISCOURAGED

  • Sandalwood: Apply to the neck at bedtime for a restful sleep, or use during meditation.
  • Elevation: Diffuse in the mornings to start the day with a positive, uplifted mood.

FEELING BLUE

  • Myrrh: Use aromatically to help promote awareness and uplift your mood.

Mood Boosting Diffuser Blend

RELAXING BLEND:

  • 3 drops Vetiver
  • 3 drops Lavender
  • 3 drops Sandalwood
  • 2 drops Ylang Ylang

HARMONIZING BLEND:

  • 3 drops Patchouli
  • 2 drops White Fir
  • 2 drops Lavender

VITALIZING BLEND:

  • 5 drops Frankincense
  • 5 drops Peppermint
  • 5 drops Wild Orange
  • 5 drops Lemon

TIP:

You can make topical blends by adding essential oils diluted with Fractionated Coconut Oil to a small roller bottle.

Questions – eastcoastlifesolutions@gmail.com

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